To Love or To Hate that is the question

To hate you or to love you that is the question
To love you would be the greatest mistake I would ever be willing to make
To hate you would be the best decision I would ever need
To love you would make my heart break in the sweetest way, that I would keep wanting to smash it
To hate you would make my soul breathe again in the most painful way, that I would keep wanting to cry
To love you would create a never-ending nightmare that I would never want to wake up from
To hate you would create a false world that I would never want to live in
To love you would destroy my fear
To hate you would destroy my sanity
To love you would kill me
To hate you would save me
To love you or to hate you that is the question

I Should've Said No

I should've said no, but I didn't know how
I should've ran away from you, but I didn't want to
I should've rejected your lust, but I didn't remember how to move
I should've screamed for her, but I didn't think she would hear

When you were done, I felt disgusting, that I didn't belong in my skin
When you were walking away, I felt empty, that that I didn't have a soul
When you were gone, I felt broken, that I didn't fit together
When you were proud, I felt ashamed, that I didn't exist

You never thought twice about it, but it haunts me
You never thought twice about if it was wrong, but it makes guilt gnaw at me
You never thought twice about if I was damaged, but I am
You never thought twice about me, but because of you, there is nothing left to think about