Symphony

Listen to the music of the damned,
Feel clef notes burn into your tongue
Jaws lock against guilty tremors,
teeth grind down to fine picks made to
play jugular chords
Listen to my composition of madness,
read the bone bleached sheet music on tattooed xleyphones
Watch me sway to self-destruction,
be infected with suicidal notes and non-existing rests
Feed lusting ears with metronome laughter and falsetto smiles
Play the skin wrapped cello with metallic laced bows.
Blade against heartstrings,
What a beautiful symphony of desperation and betrayal
Let the strings come unhinged, allow the music to infest your veins
Become deaf to the sound of heartbeats
Hear the violins scream in silent rage
Feel the timpani rumble your intestines
Become the genre of the broken,
Become the symphony that God never wanted written

New York

When I see you, I want to unfold the worn out creases left in your fragile skin
I want to ride the blue line all the way up to your temple and kiss the stairway to your mind
Your kiss opening the Lincoln Tunnel, dissolving into Manhattan skyline painted onto mocha skies
I want to crawl through Broadway, bury myself in your vocal chords so every note sounds to the metronome
To dance upon the skeletal fingers of Lady Liberty makes my hands tremble for yours
Dark brown hair suspends Washington Bridge above roaring Hudson tears
The interlocking alleys blacken Diamond district shine, after all you are the city that never sleeps
Your dark brown eyes are the best cups of coffee the diner on 5th served; half and half of soul and complexity
When I see you, I want to hold into the electric lights of your beating Times Square
I want to call a taxi to ride up your spine, to kiss my beautiful New York hello.

How To Guide To Love

Listen to the heartbeat in her wrist, feel her pulse beneath your timid fingertips
Hold her gently around her soul and caress her fears in the palm of your hand
Cup her kisses in the bow of your lips; hold onto them for rainy nights when you need the kiss of freedom
Drink in her irises so your bones are stained with their paint; poison your bloodstream by shooting her smile into your veins
Show her the love that leaves nightmares tattooed on her frontal lobe and magnificent nirvanas laced through her rib cage
Make the world stand still when she feels time is moving too fast; climb up to God’s jewelry store and buy her a necklace of milky ways and stars
Let her sign her name in your vertebrae, let it be a reminder your world is weighing down on your back.
See her eyes overlap yours in every reflection, see her laughter in every sheet of music
Become possessed by her soul, let her devour your heart like a piece of infatuated chocolate
Let her love you, let yourself be driven mad by the very word
Become an addict for her voice, let the withdrawal make you dive into her vocal chords and nestle inside every syllable
Don’t stop reading the fairy tale; make a sequel when the author says enough because you should never let a beautiful plot be forgotten
Marry her heart, make love to her soul with the words of Shakespeare and your heart
Listen to this lovestruck poet when I say treat her like a goddess walking in an angel’s body.
Be in love with her like it’s the only love story you will ever get to see
Never fall in love, because to fall means there will be an ending
So if you see her falling in love, grab her hand and soar to the heavens and never look down

Train Wreck Production

I don't see why I don't pull the curtains closed on my train wreck of a production

I don't understand why I let this go on for so long seeing people throw rotten fruit and insults to break me, my leads switching constantly because the ones before deemed me unworthy

I can't believe I let this pain in my stomach eat away at me for so long

No one would care, there are far better stories to be in, far better directors to deal with

No one really can see the pain etched in my face, the screams caught in my throat, and the pain trapped behind my eyes.

It isn't worth keeping the stage lit if the crowd doesn't show up

It isn't worth having actors quit on me from left to right

I'm not worth it

Because the pain is just too real

How could you?

How could you just walk away like that?

How could you just trample on my heart like it meant nothing to you?

I don't understand why I didn't see it sooner

I can't understand why you didn't see it sooner

How could you lie to me, telling me I meant the world when I obviously am so easily tossed aside?

How could you lie to yourself, telling yourself that what I am doesn't matter to you when it obviously did?

I don't want you to make me feel like I'm not worth anything

I can't believe that you make me feel like I'm not worth anything

How could you do this to me?

How could you?

United in Love, United in Hate

Forced to hide from a world

Shouting for equality

But behind closed lips hatred boils for people who are different

People like me, people who love.

I walk through this empty house, never fully understanding how my own flesh and blood could turn their backs on me when I reveal I am one of the lovers, the lovers who don't care if the one who holds their hearts is deemed appropriate by society

In the news, I see us cry out

Be equal! But then our voices break, knees crumble to the earth

Why do people only see sexual labels: gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, see only our genders, not the love we feel, the pain society causes

Why not hold our lover's hands without fear of hatred and violence ambushing us?

Why tell us all of our lives, "Love conquers all" yet say two men hell even two women cannot walk down the asile?

We unite against your hate

Out of hope you will change

Out of fear we are forever branded "different"

Guilt and Rage: A Painful Combination

Bones are breaking, screams are shattering the silence

Pain swelling in the pit of my stomach, claws puncturing my lungs and tearing me apart

Clenched fists connect with vulnerable walls, and my voice becomes hoarse with rage

I feel my heart as I am cut up with razors so sharp they could slice through an angel's skin

My angel's skin. The very image tightens my muscles, makes the screams start to build

Bones are shattering, screams hammering the eardrums

I can't forgive myself for not trying harder, for not seeing the pain that made her snap

My clenched fists connects with my broken heart

And drives me mad

The strange things guilt make you do.

Scars

I have more scars than life

Lashes from venomous tongues infect me

Shattered pieces still fester in my chest

I should have been marked "Handle with Care" but no one seemed to mind seeing me disassembled

No one seemed to attempt to save me

I have more anguish than soul

Terror haunts my dreams

Demons still claw at my sanity

I wish someone would take off their blinds and see me dying

I pray someone would become unfrozen and snatch me from plummeting to death's awaiting arms.

Can no one save me?

Every time I ask God this question

He leaves me in silence

Frankenstein

Her smile haunts my dreams, never being able to rip away the portrait of false perfection

I can never get words out from behind the locked doors of my heart

I can't truly see the repulsive creature I see every time I pass a mirror

You are my creator

I hunger for your love, crave for your touch, and thirst for the quenching relief of your kiss

Do you not see how deformed I turned out?

I'm not meant to be your experiment

I was not meant to turn into a being sewn carelessly back together after your mistakes

Am I doomed to stalk through the passages of your castle of hearts?

I am locked away until the soul that chains me fades away with time

Forever your Frankenstein