I’ve cut black lines into my thighs to be classified beautiful
I’ve whitened coffee stains out of my canines to shine bright like Ri Ri’s studs
I’ve kissed dinner plates on my kitchen counter to taste acidic porcelain
I’ve walked tiled ropes on my bathroom floor to brand myself a unit of failure
I’ve bargained skin for bones to my lustful mirror to imagine perfection
I’ve broken magazine spines to my sunken desire to be infinitely plastic
See for yourself,
Open up hourglasses, fit me into curved rejection
Look at me drown in grained calories,
Look at me fit in.
Look at me dying through society looking glasses
Look at me have
A Media-Glass Figure
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wrists Are Made For Love
Who says bracelets and slits can't make love on my wrists?
Show me show glass confections and bedroom afflictions and tell me metal doesn't make a beautiful accessory
Why can't she write love on my arms?
They are the bracelets she gave me hiding the blades that she lent me
Who says love and sin can't crawl beneath my skin?
Show me contorted biopsies and x-rayed perversion and tell me results of angelic infidelity
Why can't she be my confessional?
They are the sins she whispered to me masking the love that she cooed to me
Who says collarbones and thighs can't reach for my skies?
Show me winged corruption and clouded starvation and tell me cockpits are stuffed with uncalculated weight gain
Why can't I be perfect for her?
They are the collarbones she kissed caressing the thighs she missed
Who says that wrists are not made for love?
Show me mutilated perfection and romantic addiction and tell me Shakespeare wouldn't find it beautiful
Why can't you see she loves me?
I wear her heart on my sleeves covering the wrists she made bleed.
Show me show glass confections and bedroom afflictions and tell me metal doesn't make a beautiful accessory
Why can't she write love on my arms?
They are the bracelets she gave me hiding the blades that she lent me
Who says love and sin can't crawl beneath my skin?
Show me contorted biopsies and x-rayed perversion and tell me results of angelic infidelity
Why can't she be my confessional?
They are the sins she whispered to me masking the love that she cooed to me
Who says collarbones and thighs can't reach for my skies?
Show me winged corruption and clouded starvation and tell me cockpits are stuffed with uncalculated weight gain
Why can't I be perfect for her?
They are the collarbones she kissed caressing the thighs she missed
Who says that wrists are not made for love?
Show me mutilated perfection and romantic addiction and tell me Shakespeare wouldn't find it beautiful
Why can't you see she loves me?
I wear her heart on my sleeves covering the wrists she made bleed.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Flicker
We rested our spines on setting suns,
waiting for your brother to drive you into disappearing rays
We talked on complex childness and simple insanity
waiting for your departure to silence me into uncensored longing
Your desperation etched plans of bright lights and abandoned towns
waiting for the day you could fly away on 18 inked wings
You listened to my foolish enthusiasm spin skyscraper strategies and tattooed escapes
waiting for you to pause being the master of disguise
I saw the flicker of serene cheekbones and parted lips
Prayers thrown into sleepless stars answered in heart-filled laughter
You drop false happiness adopting a flicker of genuine ecstasy
Euphoria.
The only substance coursing my veins
Your brother arrived, we said our reluctant goodbyes
You left me standing intoxicated, drunk off flickers of fantastical joy
waiting for the next drink to touch my thirsting irises
waiting for your brother to drive you into disappearing rays
We talked on complex childness and simple insanity
waiting for your departure to silence me into uncensored longing
Your desperation etched plans of bright lights and abandoned towns
waiting for the day you could fly away on 18 inked wings
You listened to my foolish enthusiasm spin skyscraper strategies and tattooed escapes
waiting for you to pause being the master of disguise
I saw the flicker of serene cheekbones and parted lips
Prayers thrown into sleepless stars answered in heart-filled laughter
You drop false happiness adopting a flicker of genuine ecstasy
Euphoria.
The only substance coursing my veins
Your brother arrived, we said our reluctant goodbyes
You left me standing intoxicated, drunk off flickers of fantastical joy
waiting for the next drink to touch my thirsting irises
Carbon Copies
You tell me I am your carbon copy
How we act as one Italian soul to big for small frames and two heart too different for one chest
I'm surprised you haven't seen
Haven't seen that for the past six semesters I have said I love you to three sets of your brown eyes
I'm surprised you haven't noticed it
Haven't noticed that for the past three years i have kissed a different shade of your dark skin
I'm surprised you haven't wondered about it
Wondered about their similar lips not fitting on mine like yours did
I'm surprised you haven't realized it
Haven't realized that I love you so much that they have imitations of your body, your eyes, everything that's you
My best friend tells me they are your carbon copies
How they were born from your mesmerizing reflection and missing chunks of your soul
I'm surprised they haven't seen
That for me,
No one is more perfect than the original
How we act as one Italian soul to big for small frames and two heart too different for one chest
I'm surprised you haven't seen
Haven't seen that for the past six semesters I have said I love you to three sets of your brown eyes
I'm surprised you haven't noticed it
Haven't noticed that for the past three years i have kissed a different shade of your dark skin
I'm surprised you haven't wondered about it
Wondered about their similar lips not fitting on mine like yours did
I'm surprised you haven't realized it
Haven't realized that I love you so much that they have imitations of your body, your eyes, everything that's you
My best friend tells me they are your carbon copies
How they were born from your mesmerizing reflection and missing chunks of your soul
I'm surprised they haven't seen
That for me,
No one is more perfect than the original
Tightrope Drive
I am driving abandoned roads, in winter cold.
Past my windshield, it's quiet, but rock n' roll banter shrieks, lulling me into exhausted angst.
Intersections away, tucked behind closed doors, her mind is farther than I can drive
She's been cutting herself for a year now-everywhere-walking tightropes from relapse to recovery
The sky is crying stars, I know her shades are drawn.
She cries hatred of weakness, following road maps on her stomach.
I feel screeching rubber kiss the pavement, unaware down the street, metals kissing inner thighs.
She doesn't see me crashing into the guardrail by her neighbor's house, preoccupied with the blade
From too acceleration, black icy hearts, the turning of steering wheels-
We run out of cliff-hanging tightropes
And we are driven into indifferent darkness
Past my windshield, it's quiet, but rock n' roll banter shrieks, lulling me into exhausted angst.
Intersections away, tucked behind closed doors, her mind is farther than I can drive
She's been cutting herself for a year now-everywhere-walking tightropes from relapse to recovery
The sky is crying stars, I know her shades are drawn.
She cries hatred of weakness, following road maps on her stomach.
I feel screeching rubber kiss the pavement, unaware down the street, metals kissing inner thighs.
She doesn't see me crashing into the guardrail by her neighbor's house, preoccupied with the blade
From too acceleration, black icy hearts, the turning of steering wheels-
We run out of cliff-hanging tightropes
And we are driven into indifferent darkness
The First Time
The first time made my fingers quiver over your curves, made me trace strange syllables on my tongue
The first time made my bones lock in your angles, made me tangle foreign sounds in my veins
The first time made my lips tattoo your innocence on my gums, made me taste your essence in every cell
The first time made my skin rise to your touch, made my nerves be fooled that your voice was a brush of fingertips
I flashback to how inexperience we were, how we laid down on our futures, unaware of how inexperienced we are
I flashback to how awkward we were, how we didn't know where to put our hearts, unaware of how awkward we are
The first time was perfect, made me embrace the air filled with you
The first time I heard your name, made me fall in love with you
The first time made my bones lock in your angles, made me tangle foreign sounds in my veins
The first time made my lips tattoo your innocence on my gums, made me taste your essence in every cell
The first time made my skin rise to your touch, made my nerves be fooled that your voice was a brush of fingertips
I flashback to how inexperience we were, how we laid down on our futures, unaware of how inexperienced we are
I flashback to how awkward we were, how we didn't know where to put our hearts, unaware of how awkward we are
The first time was perfect, made me embrace the air filled with you
The first time I heard your name, made me fall in love with you
Take Them
Mind decided, I shakily walk to you
Indecision tries to save you, stubbornness knows to destroy us
Tiny square crinkled in my palm, eyes cast 6 feet beneath tile
"Sydney!" Radiant smile strums your vocal chords
Furious tears collapse, my arms wrap vulnerable shoulders
Loving floods crash into confused drums, trembling bones terrify hesitant arms
My face painted ashen, death perfecting my funeral attire
Tiny square shoved into quivering fingertips, "Wait" escapes clenched teeth
"Wait until you can't see me", questions tightrope mocha cheekbones
Racing away to blaring tires and screeching horns, heart decomposes
Your quizzical nails peel open paper, "Take them, I love you."
Realization slaps adreniline, feet sprint to the rescue
Body slams through doors, winter kisses kneecaps
Eyes dart to hit bullseye on fleeing backs
"Sydney!" Complete horror cuts steely fate
Marrow cracks vibrate heartbreak, screams trapped in hermit shock
Your legs carry numb senses, blood ressurects loss
Hands push off strangers, chest pillows broken necks
Lips kiss matted foreheads, spine rocks lifeless eyes
"Please no! Sydney please!" Pleading sobs pierce dead beats
"Take them" thoughts tumble, meanings endlessly inserted:
Take (my journals)
Take (my novels)
Take (my music)
Take (my apologies)
Take (my memories)
I love you
Indecision tries to save you, stubbornness knows to destroy us
Tiny square crinkled in my palm, eyes cast 6 feet beneath tile
"Sydney!" Radiant smile strums your vocal chords
Furious tears collapse, my arms wrap vulnerable shoulders
Loving floods crash into confused drums, trembling bones terrify hesitant arms
My face painted ashen, death perfecting my funeral attire
Tiny square shoved into quivering fingertips, "Wait" escapes clenched teeth
"Wait until you can't see me", questions tightrope mocha cheekbones
Racing away to blaring tires and screeching horns, heart decomposes
Your quizzical nails peel open paper, "Take them, I love you."
Realization slaps adreniline, feet sprint to the rescue
Body slams through doors, winter kisses kneecaps
Eyes dart to hit bullseye on fleeing backs
"Sydney!" Complete horror cuts steely fate
Marrow cracks vibrate heartbreak, screams trapped in hermit shock
Your legs carry numb senses, blood ressurects loss
Hands push off strangers, chest pillows broken necks
Lips kiss matted foreheads, spine rocks lifeless eyes
"Please no! Sydney please!" Pleading sobs pierce dead beats
"Take them" thoughts tumble, meanings endlessly inserted:
Take (my journals)
Take (my novels)
Take (my music)
Take (my apologies)
Take (my memories)
I love you
School Girl
I used to tease my girlfriend about how I would dress up like a naughty catholic on her birthday,
Apparently she was born 365 times and always comes out begging for more tantalizing text messages, more skin, more everything
I used to find enjoyment inside her cyber kisses and electronic love,
Apparently I wear plaid skirt jumpsuits and always come out feeling like her personal sex slave
I used to think that sex equals love
Apparently someone rewrote the equation without changing the romance textbooks and always coming out with love equaling sex
I used to believe she loved me
Apparently she just has a fetish for a girl in a uniform and always comes out on top of the class
Now I dread the moment winky faces taint my screen,
Tired of constantly washing red ties of bondage shame, never getting the stains of desperation out
Now I dread her handcuffs hooked to imaginary bed posts
Tired of constantly being chained to cyber sex chambers, never getting the romances of Hallmark cards
You ask me why I do this to myself
Why a feminist would be treated like a stranger’s favorite sex toy
Why a firecracker would be dimmed like a liar’s desk lamp
Why your darling would be broken like she was nothing
To tell you the truth,
It’s not the handcuffs’ fault that guilt locks them to thin wrists
It’s not the winky faces’ fault that disappointed eyes leave 3rd degree burns
It’s not the heart’s fault that psychotic lust killed it coldly
It’s not the textbooks’ fault that clever sharpies manipulated them
Finally,
It’s not your fault that I dress for catholic punishment
It’s not your fault that I kiss through iPhone cameras
It’s not your fault that I study the wrong equations
It’s not your fault that I lost her love
It’s not your fault that I make love on keyboards
It’s not your fault that I refuse to make you feel his jealousy
It’s not your fault that I shake under the heartwrenching fears
It’s not your fault that I sacrifice myself for you
What did you expect?
I’m a catholic schoolgirl following the example of the man I was told to praise
I used to separate myself from iron hands and bleeding nails
Apparently, we’re not so different
Apparently she was born 365 times and always comes out begging for more tantalizing text messages, more skin, more everything
I used to find enjoyment inside her cyber kisses and electronic love,
Apparently I wear plaid skirt jumpsuits and always come out feeling like her personal sex slave
I used to think that sex equals love
Apparently someone rewrote the equation without changing the romance textbooks and always coming out with love equaling sex
I used to believe she loved me
Apparently she just has a fetish for a girl in a uniform and always comes out on top of the class
Now I dread the moment winky faces taint my screen,
Tired of constantly washing red ties of bondage shame, never getting the stains of desperation out
Now I dread her handcuffs hooked to imaginary bed posts
Tired of constantly being chained to cyber sex chambers, never getting the romances of Hallmark cards
You ask me why I do this to myself
Why a feminist would be treated like a stranger’s favorite sex toy
Why a firecracker would be dimmed like a liar’s desk lamp
Why your darling would be broken like she was nothing
To tell you the truth,
It’s not the handcuffs’ fault that guilt locks them to thin wrists
It’s not the winky faces’ fault that disappointed eyes leave 3rd degree burns
It’s not the heart’s fault that psychotic lust killed it coldly
It’s not the textbooks’ fault that clever sharpies manipulated them
Finally,
It’s not your fault that I dress for catholic punishment
It’s not your fault that I kiss through iPhone cameras
It’s not your fault that I study the wrong equations
It’s not your fault that I lost her love
It’s not your fault that I make love on keyboards
It’s not your fault that I refuse to make you feel his jealousy
It’s not your fault that I shake under the heartwrenching fears
It’s not your fault that I sacrifice myself for you
What did you expect?
I’m a catholic schoolgirl following the example of the man I was told to praise
I used to separate myself from iron hands and bleeding nails
Apparently, we’re not so different
Food Bank
Welcome to the national treasury of sadistic perfection
We accept plastic surgery as beautiful currency or simple paper rags wiping excess eyeliner from teenage girls cried away calories
Visit our plastic tellers, they will assist you in cashing checks to indifferent scales
Open saving accounts with razor cards holding death behind steel veins
Cash out calories counters with acid attacking throats after all numbers ring up
Max out “I’m not hungry” and decline “You should eat something” to win thigh gapping rewards
Thank you for choosing the food bank
Satisfaction and eating disorders guaranteed your sanity back
We accept plastic surgery as beautiful currency or simple paper rags wiping excess eyeliner from teenage girls cried away calories
Visit our plastic tellers, they will assist you in cashing checks to indifferent scales
Open saving accounts with razor cards holding death behind steel veins
Cash out calories counters with acid attacking throats after all numbers ring up
Max out “I’m not hungry” and decline “You should eat something” to win thigh gapping rewards
Thank you for choosing the food bank
Satisfaction and eating disorders guaranteed your sanity back
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