Fear

I'm afraid, more terrified then I have been in my entire life.

Your smile is the light to break the darkness of my tortured mind, yet you may never shine down on me again.

Your love is the air that dances in my lungs, yet you may never let me breathe again.

You are my hero who saves me every single day, yet you may never come to my rescue again.
Will you let my fear consume me?
Will I let you consume me?
Will you allow me to drown without it?
Will I allow you to drown me?
It all starts with a choice, but that choice is draped in darkness.
It is draped in fear.

How am I suppose to choose?

How am I suppose to choose on whether or not to tell you the one thing I know you'll despise me for?

How am I suppose to choose willingly to face my biggest fear with no one to save me expect the fear itself?

How am I suppose to love you both when your turmoil is older than the very fabric of time?

So many questions and possible answers run through my head and the slightest glimpse of the outcome sends me to my knees, crying out in the pain of the monster plunging its heart-breaking claws into my chest.

I wish I could be strong and not have to tell you what will make my fear come true, the very secret that will crush my happily ever after.

There is no happily ever after without you.

How am I suppose to choose?