The thought of being away from you brings me joy that you aren't around to stop me from running away into oblivion
The thought of being torn away from you makes my stomach turn into knots enduring the sickness of the absence of your embrace
The thought of being torn away from you makes me have time to cleanse my mind of the smell of you, how your smile brightens when our eyes meet, and how you slow your step to match mine
The thought of being unable to gaze into your eyes leaves blinded by sorrow and by terror of not having you there to comfort me when I cry out for help
The thought of being unable to gaze into your eyes gives me the time to take off my mask that conceals my inner soul from your ever-reading-deeper eyes
The thought of being able to love you with no strings attached makes my heart swell with the relief of being able to be held by you without any insecurity
The thought of being able to love you with no strings attached makes me want to run in confusion
Knowing this could never be true
